In-Person Program
Sex After Betrayal
Reclaiming Your Sexual Self
Enrolling Now for October 22 – 26, 2025
Not sure if this intensive a good fit for you? Contact us at 571-442-1898 for more information.
Healing the Sexual Injury
Partner betrayal includes the overlapping of three specific types of traumatic injury that influence and exacerbate each other. This four-day therapy intensive focuses on understanding and healing the sexual injury resulting from intimate betrayal.
Sex After Betrayal
Despite a growing array of resources for betrayed partners, there is limited focus on healing the sexual wounds created by betrayal.
Many individuals start with a deficit in this area. This deficit can be caused by sexually shaming cultural messages and impossible-to-meet sexual standards. Or by past experiences of sexual harm, either in childhood or previous adult relationships. It can be caused by confusing religious messages that create ambivalence around sex. Or by the enormous pressure around body shape and size.
Regardless of where the wound originates, sexual betrayal piles on, creating uncertainty and prompting these key questions:
- Am I worthy?
- Am I wanted?
- Am I important?
Our sexuality connects to our deepest attachment-based needs. This is why sexual betrayal cuts so deep. Reclaiming your sexual self (maybe for the first time ever)is the healing focus of this intensive.
After completing the Sex After Betrayal: Reclaiming Your Sexual Self intensive you will be able to:
- Operate from self-acceptance knowing that who you are, how you are sexually wired, your preferences, experiences and desires are all normal.
- Help your partner (or future partner) understand who you are sexually and engage in your sexual relationship from a place of self-acceptance and curiosity.
- Identify your Sexual Alarm System, honor your need for safety and move more freely toward the safe adventure of sex.
- Learn how to say no so that you can fully and enthusiastically say yes.
- Find your sexual voice, create sexual boundaries, and gain courage to speak honestly and vulnerably about sexual issues with those who matter.
This program IS ideal for you if…
- Women who have experienced sexual betrayal (whether from an isolated infidelity or a pattern of sexually compulsive behavior) and have completed the initial work to address the crisis of discovery, stabilize trauma symptoms, and establish boundaries and patterns of self-care.
- Betrayed partners who feel ready to deal with the impact to their sexuality and are prepared to dive deeply into sexual issues in a safe and confidential small group setting.
- Betrayed partners who want to better understand their sexuality and more fully embrace their sexual selves.
This program is NOT ideal if…
- Betrayed partners who are in the initial shock and awe of discovery and still experiencing significant emotional activation and trauma symptoms. This intensive could be potentially too activating for someone in that stage of healing. If this is you, it may not feel like it today, but you will eventually get to the place where this intensive will be right for you.
- Women who have a history of childhood sexual abuse and are currently dealing with that abuse and experiencing significant emotional disruption as a result. This intensive would be wonderful a little farther down the road when you are out of the intense work around the childhood sexual abuse and ready to take on the work of reclaiming your sexuality for yourself.
How the Intensive Is Structured
The Sex After Betrayal: Reclaiming Your Sexual Self intensive is held at the Relational Recovery Institute’s main office in Leesburg VA just outside of Washington DC. Participants stay at a local hotel.
The intensive is designed as a small group experience with 6 participants. The intensive combines therapy, psycho-education, and experiential work. If you are working with an individual therapist, we will collaborate with them about the work you do with us.
Schedule
Wednesday: 5:30 – 8:30 pm
Thursday: 9 am – 5 pm
Friday: 9 am – 5 pm
Saturday: 9 am – 5 pm
Sunday: 9 am – 1 pm
Facilitators
Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S
Lead Facilitator
Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst and she is the founder of the Relational Recovery Institute in Northern Virginia outside of DC. Michelle has created The Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model™ to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She is trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.
Beth Ratchford LCSW, MA
Co-facilitator
Beth Ratchford has been in the field for over 20 years specializing in treating trauma, particularly family of origin-based trauma. She has trained with Laurel Parnell in the Attachment-Focused EMDR protocol, which is a modified version of the powerful tool of EMDR. AF-EMDR is a client-centered approach to EMDR that was developed for those who’ve experienced developmental and attachment trauma in childhood. Beth also is an Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association (EAGALA) certified mental health practitioner which allows her to incorporate the healing power of horses into work with clients. The intuitive nature of horses can facilitate clients being able to be present and connect more deeply to their story.
If you are READY TO REGISTER or want to EXPLORE MORE about whether Sex After Betrayal: Reclaiming Your Sexual Self is right for you, click here to complete the intake packet.
Questions? Contact our Client Care Manager at admin@relationalrecovery.com or 571-442-1898.
