In my previous two posts, we deepened our understanding of complex trauma, primarily focusing on the fact that when relational betrayal occurs, the resulting complex trauma often manifests as emotional dysregulation and/or relational disconnection. In this post, we turn our attention to exploring the dynamic, multi-dimensional aspects of betrayal trauma. In 2006, Dr. Barbara Steffens, a … [Read more...]
Complex Betrayal Trauma & Relational Disconnection
In last month's post, I introduced the concept of complex trauma, which Christine Courtois defines as “traumatic stressors that are interpersonal, that are premeditated, planned, and caused by other humans, such as violation and/or exploitation of another person.”[1]We looked at the emotional dysregulation that results from complex trauma and the key symptoms experienced by betrayed partners. This … [Read more...]
Complex Betrayal Trauma & Emotional Dysregulation
Betrayal trauma makes you feel like you are losing your mind. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy. It yanks your sense of security out from under you and puts you in a state of emotional free fall. It is severely emotionally distressing, and until you have experienced it, you really can’t imagine how truly life-altering the … [Read more...]
Betrayal Requires Relational Recovery
If the significant wound of betrayal happens in relationship (and betrayal is always relational), then it makes sense that our healing and restoration must also happen in relationship. The impact of betrayal is always felt most profoundly in our sense of relational disconnection. We feel disconnected from ourselves and who we knew ourselves to be, from our significant other and who we thought he … [Read more...]
Ten Things To Do (and Not Do) After Betrayal
If you've been cheated on, no matter how it is revealed or how it is done, where, when, or with whom, the painful fact is that cheating means you've been lied to, manipulated, and your trust has been betrayed. It's like an earthquake shaking you to your core. And the aftershocks can seem even more painful and jarring. The consequences, repercussions, outcomes, emotions, and reactions seem … [Read more...]
December Recommended Reading
When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal by Michelle D. Mays If you are a betrayed partner who has recently experienced the discovery of cheating or sexual acting out behavior in your relationship, this book is designed to give you some clear direction and support. The book takes you through ten recommended things to do after discovering betrayal and also points you … [Read more...]
November Recommended Reading
A House Interrupted by Maurita Corcoran If you are a betrayed partner, this memoir of recovery is for you. In this book, Maurita Corcoran tells her story from the moments of discovery of her spouse’s sexual addiction and cheating behaviors through the process of healing and repair. How Can I Get Through to You: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women by Terrence Real Terry … [Read more...]
June Recommended Reading
Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships by Dr. Sue Johnson Sue Johnson is the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, an attachment-based approach that helps couple build a safe bond with one another that allows intimacy to flourish. While Johnson has written several books on EFT this is her most popular seller as it provides an eye-opening … [Read more...]
CRR Team Spotlight, Cheryl Schenck
Over the coming weeks we want to introduce you to members of CRR’s Clinical Team who you may not yet know. This week we invite you to take a few minutes to get to know a little bit more about Cheryl Schenck. Cheryl Schenck is a Licensed Professional Counselor who works with individuals and couples, and leads groups. Cheryl has been with the Center for Relational Recovery since 2012. After she … [Read more...]
Do My Words Matter?
Words are potent. They can be the vehicle we use to deliver love, affirmation, appreciation, and hope. Conversely, words have the power to hurt, condescend, hate, and offend. In the Bible, the book of Proverbs says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Sigmund Freud said, “Words have a magical power. They can either bring the greatest happiness or the deepest despair.” Even with … [Read more...]
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